Twenty five year old Jiah Khan a.k.a Nafisa Khan gave up all hope as she ended her life by hanging herself at her Juhu Apartment on Monday. She left behind a very heart-broken mother and grieving sisters.
Jiah, who ended her life for the fear of not making it big in the 'fame' world of Bollywood, suddenly became the most trended topic after her death. However, like someone said, “What a waste of time to be posthumously famous.” (Orson Scott Card), this was not the kind of fame Jiah was looking for.
What exactly was she looking for? and what made her think that this was the only way out? Read on...
Jiah Khan was born on Feb 20, 1988 in New York City. Her mother brought her three girls up in London single handed, as her dad abandoned the family when Jiah was just three months old. Her mother later remarried but sadly Jiah's step-dad too, abandoned them.
Jiah's mother Rabia Amin was a Bollywood actress in her time. Though she could not make it really big in B-town, she encouraged her daughter to perhaps fulfill the dreams that she had failed to do. This seemed possible when Jiah got her first break opposite none other than Amitabh Bachchan in the movie 'Nishabd'. The good news continued as she got her next break in Aamir Khan's Ghajini, though as the second lead.
However, things apparently started to go downhill from there, for Jiah. Her three film deal with Ghajini producer Madhu Mantena never materialized. Also she was ousted from UTV's Chance Pe Dance (2010) directed by Ken Ghosh after the film was almost complete. Here too, the production house had signed a three-film deal which never materialized.
Buzz was that the film's main lead Shahid Kapoor did not see eye to eye with her. However, what is surprising is that Shahid was one of the first persons to tweet his condolences after her death. "Shocked n saddened to hear about jiah khan ... Very disturbing ... RIP ....may her soul rest in peace", he wrote.
When Bollywood offers did not materialize, Jiah went on to complete her acting course which she had left midway before, in New York. Friends say she came back with a lot of zeal and plans for her future. She was very much bent on her big screen career and also turned down a TV offer for a reality dance show. Jiah was to 'choosy' with her roles, as friends put it. Jiah also is said to have signed a three-film deal with Ratan Jain's son-in-law Siddharth. However, this too, did not materialize as Jiah was apparently not willing to compromise on her role. Siddharth mentioned that that though she was not concerned about money, she was very, very choosy about her roles.
It was then that Jiah wanted to try her luck down south. This was perhaps the last straw for Jiah. A few days before she killed herself, she had been to a Hyderabad audition. Though she was not selected for the main role, she got a couple of dance numbers and second lead roles. However, Jiah, who was ambitious to make it big as the main lead, refused these roles. Her mother Rabia later told the police that Jiah was rejected down South on account of being 'too thin'.
While the disappointments continued in Jiah's life things were not so nice and dandy on the personal front too.
Jiah sometimes spoke of the bitterness she carried towards these incidents. Khalid Mohamed, who was close to Jiah, mentions in his blog, what Jiah felt about her father. "A man who abandons his children should be shot! He’s in London, too, but has never cared to even make a phone call. I’m his daughter, dammit!” was what she blurted out to Khalid about her dad.
Jiah herself was linked to a few men, the latest and most serious being Aditya Pancholi's son, Suraj Pancholi. Though Suraj mentioned that the couple had parted ways some time back, it is clear that Jiah was not ready to let go. Jiah's last SMS to him apparently was that he was getting too 'cold'. In another SMS Jiah is beleived to have accused Suraj of getting too close to 'Neelu'. Suraj apparently tried to sort out the issues and also sent her a bouquet of flowers at 10 PM which Jiah flung back at the messenger.
An hour later, she was gone, just as crushed as the flowers. Khalid Mohamed also mentions in his blog, about a book of Bruce Chatwin that Jiah had asked him to read. There was a para that she specially liked which she had marked with gel pen.
It read, “I pictured a low timber home with a shingled roof, caulked against storms, with blazing log fires and the walls lined with all the best books, somewhere to live when the rest of the world blew up.”....